Real English: Monty Python "Dead Parrot" Sketch - Idioms for "Dead" and "Broken"

You are going to

• watch / read a TV comedy sketch by Monty Python
• listen to some slang euphemisms for "dead"
• plan / write / act out your own comedy sketch using slang euphemisms for "broken"
• write a formal letter of complaint

Note - this post is designed to get students to use common expressions often heard in the UK. There is another similar post on UK slang here






1) Discuss

• Have you ever had to complain about something?
• What things do people usually complain about?
• What's the silliest thing you have ever complained about?

2) Watch
You are going to watch a comedy sketch from the BBC TV series Monty Python's Flying Circus.
Answer

• Where is the man?
• What is his complaint?

Before you watch look at these slang euphemisms for "dead". How many do you know?

Watch the clip. 
How many of the expressions do you hear?

3) Read
Read the dialogue from the sketch in pairs. Check any vocabulary you don't know.

The cast:

MR. PRALINE - John Cleese
SHOP OWNER -  Michael Palin

The sketch: A customer enters a pet shop.

Mr. Praline: 'Ello, I wish to register a complaint.

(The owner does not respond.)

Mr. Praline: 'Ello, Miss?

Owner: What do you mean "miss"?

Mr. Praline: (pause) I'm sorry, I have a cold. I wish to make a complaint!

Owner: Sorry we're closin' for lunch.

Mr. Praline: Never mind that, my lad. I wish to complain about this parrot what I purchased not half an hour ago from this very boutique.

Owner: Oh yes, the, uh, the Norwegian Blue... What's wrong with it?

Mr. Praline: I'll tell you what's wrong with it. It's dead, that's what's wrong with it!

Owner: No, no, it's  resting. Look.

Mr. Praline: Look, my lad, I know a dead parrot when I see one, and I'm looking at one right now.

Owner: No no it's not dead, he's, it's restin'! Remarkable bird, the Norwegian Blue. Beautiful plumage innit,

Mr. Praline: The plumage don't enter into it. It's stone dead.

Owner: No no no no, no, no! It's resting!

Mr. Praline: All right then, if it's restin', I'll wake him up! (shouting at the cage) 'Ello, Polly! I've got a lovely fresh cuttle fish for when you wake up...

(owner hits the cage)

Owner: There, it moved!

Mr. Praline: No, it didn't, that was you pushing the cage!

Owner: I did not!!

Mr. Praline: Yes, you did!

Mr. Praline: (yelling and hitting the cage repeatedly) 'ELLO POLLY!!!!!

(Takes parrot out of the cage and thumps its head on the counter. Throws it up in the air and watches it plummet to the floor.)

Mr. Praline: Now that's what I call a dead parrot.

Owner: No, no.....No, it's stunned!
 
Mr. Praline: Look, my lad, I've 'ad just about enough of this. That parrot is definitely deceased, and when I bought it not half an hour ago, you assured me that its lack of movement was due to it being tired and shagged out following a long squawk.

Owner: Well, he's probably pining for the fjords.

Mr. Praline: PININ' for the FJORDS?!?!?!? What kind of talk is that? Look, why did it fall flat on its back the moment I got it home?

Owner: The Norwegian Blue prefers kippin' on it's back! Beautiful bird. Lovely plumage!

Mr. Praline: Look, I took the liberty of examining that parrot and I discovered the only reason that it had been sitting on its perch in the first place was that it had been NAILED there.

(pause)

Owner: Well, of course it was nailed there! Otherwise it would have nuzzled up to those bars and VOOM! 

Mr. Praline: Look matey, this parrot wouldn't "voom" if Iput four thousand volts through it! It's bleedin' demised!

Owner: It's not! It's pining!

Mr. Praline: It's not pinin'! It's passed on! This parrot is no more! It has ceased to be! It's expired and gone to meet its maker! This is a late parrot. It's a stiff! Bereft of life, It rests in peace! If you hadn't nailed it to the perch It'd be pushing up the daisies! It's run down the curtain and joined the choir invisible!! THIS IS AN EX-PARROT!!

(pause)

Owner: Well, I'd better replace it, then. 

Mr. Praline:  If you want to get anything done in this country you've got to complain until you are blue in the mouth.

Owner: Sorry Guv, we're right out of parrots.

Mr. Praline: I see. I see, I get the picture.

Owner: (pause) I got a slug.

(pause)

Mr. Praline: Does it talk?

Owner: Not really.

Mr. Praline: WELL IT'S HARDLY A REPLACEMENT, IS IT?!!???!!?

Owner: Look, tell you what, if you go to my brother's pet shop in Bolton, he'll replace the parrot for you.

Mr. Praline: Bolton, eh? Alright.

(The customer leaves.)

(The customer enters the same pet shop. The owner is putting on a false moustache.)

Mr. Praline: Excuse me, this is Bolton, is it?

Owner: (with a fake moustache) No, it's Ipswich.

Mr. Praline: (looking at the camera) That's inter-city rail for you.

(Mr. Praine goes to the train station. He addresses a man standing behind a desk marked "Complaints".)

Mr. Praline: I wish to complain.

Attendant: I DON'T HAVE TO DO THIS JOB, YOU KNOW!!!

Mr. Praline: I beg your pardon...?

Attendant: I'm a qualified brain surgeon! I only do this job because I like being my own boss!

Mr. Praline: Excuse me, this is irrelevant, isn't it?

Attendant: Yeah, well it's not easy to pad these programs out to 30 minutes.

Mr. Praline: Well, I wish to make a complaint I got on the Bolton train and found myself deposited here in Ipswich.

Attendant: No, this is Bolton.

Mr. Praline: (to the camera) The pet shop owner's brother was lying!!

Attendant: You can't blame British Rail for that.

Mr. Praline: If this is Bolton, I shall return to the pet shop!


Mr. Praline: I understand that this IS Bolton.

Owner: (still with the fake moustache) Yes?

Mr. Praline: You told me it was Ipswich!

Owner: ...It was a pun.

Mr. Praline:  A PUN?!?

Owner: No, no...not a pun...What's that thing which spells the same backwards as forwards?

Mr. Praline: (Long pause) A palindrome?

Owner: Yeah, that's it!

Mr. Praline: It's not a palindrome! The palindrome of "Bolton" would be "Notlob"!! It don't work!!

Owner: Well, what do you want?

Mr. Praline: I'm sorry, I'm not prepared to pursue my line of inquiry any longer as I think this is getting too silly!

Sergeant-Major: Quite agree, quite agree, silly, silly... Right. Get on with it!

Adapted slightly from http://montypython.50webs.com/scripts/Series_1/53.htm





4) Speak
The comedy sketch is very silly isn't it?
In pairs plan / write / act out a similar silly sketch / dialogue about someone making a complaint about something which is broken.
Look at these euphemisms for broken. How many do you know?

You must include the sentence "I wish to register a complaint" in your dialogue and as many of the "broken" expressions as you can.
Make it silly. Act out or film your dialogues. The funniest one wins.



 
Write
Write a formal letter of complaint based on your dialogue. DO NOT use any of the slang expressions above.

• Start - I am writing to complain about..."
• Describe the problem
• Say what solution you want - a refund. a replacement...
• Finish in an appropriate formal way - I look forward to hearing from you, Yours sincerely...

More 
BBC News - "Mullered" and 61 other words for beaten at sport



Real English - Popular UK slang Intermediate, Phrasal Verbs / Idioms and Slang, Pre-Intermediate, Upper Intermediate

Carry on Doctor  Film and TV,  Intermediate, Past Continuous, Past Simple, Writing, Writing a letter of complaint

Giving Up Marilyn Manson Fashion, Giving Up Marilyn Manson, IELTS, Intermediate, Listening, Phrasal Verbs / Idioms and Slang, Upper Intermediate, Writing

Haunted House Advanced, Listening, Past Simple, Reading, The Haunted House by Dave Allen, Upper Intermediate, Writing, Writing a story

Film Reviews - Skyfall and The Master

You are going to

• practise language for talking about films
• listen to two very short film reviews (Skyfall and The Master)
• write / present a film review

1) Discuss

• What are your favourite films?
• How often do you go to the cinema?
• Do you look at film reviews before watchng?
• What's the best film you've seen recently?
• Look at these two posters. Have you see the films Skyfall and The Master?

2) Before we start

1. How many words connected with the cinema and films can you think of in 60 seconds?
2. Write a list of vocabulary - Actor, comedy, camera....
3. Who has got the most?
4. Share your film vocabulary with the class
   

3) Watch the Skyfall trailer

• Do you know / like James Bond films?
• What kind of films are they?
• Watch the trailer for the latest Bond film "Skyfall".
• What kind of film is it?

4) Listen
Listen to a review of Skyfall by Chris Hewitt of BBC Radio 6 Music.
1) What adjectives does he use to describe the film?

listen to ‘Chris Hewitt's mini Skyfall review ’ on Audioboo

2) Listen again and do the gap-fill exercise below
Vocabulary
Ergo = therefore
Butts heads with =  argues
Easing into = finding his place, getting comfortable

5) Watch The Master trailer

• Have you seen "The Master"?
• Watch the trailer.
• Who is in the film?
• When is the film set?

6) Listen
Listen to a review of The Master by Chris Hewitt of BBC Radio 6 Music.
1) Does he like the film?

listen to ‘The Master - Chris Hewitt's One Minute Film Review with Lauren Laverne’ on Audioboo

2) Listen again and do the True / False exercise below.

7) Write / Present
Write or present your own short film review
You can
a) write a film review
b) take notes and present your review to the class or record yourself reading it.
Don't forget to use some of the film / cinema vocabulary you have practised above.
Use some adjectives too. Amazing, Brilliant...
Superlatives - The best...



Plan
Introduction

• What's the name of film?
• What kind of film is it? (Horror, comedy, romantic...)
• Name of Director / Producer / Script writer
• Who are the cast?

Description of main characters

• Who are they?
• What kind of people are they?
• What do they do?

Plot (story)

• What happens in the film? DO NOT tell the complete story of the film (or the ending) or you will ruin it for people! Just briefly describe the plot. Don't give too many details.

Your opinion

• Did the film have a good plot? Did you believe it? Was it convincing?
• Did you learn anything from watching the film or was it just entertaining?
• Did the actors play their parts well? Can you give an example of a scene in the film with a great performance?

Recommendation

• Would you recommend the film? Why?

8) Practise
Do the crossword




Printable worksheets here
Crossword here






More
More reviews
http://efllecturer.blogspot.com.es/2012/06/stone-roses-reunion-review.html


Official "Skyfall" site
http://www.skyfall-movie.com/site/


Official "The Master" site
http://www.themasterfilm.com/

Shaun of the Dead - Passive for News

You are going to

• watch a clip of the film "Shaun of the Dead"
• listen to the passive used in a news broadcast
• do some comprehension activities

Shaun of the Dead (2004) directed and co-written by Edgar Wright, co-written and starring Simon Pegg and Nick Frost.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Shaun_of_the_Dead
The DVD is available on amazon here

1) Discuss

Do you like comedy films?
Do you like horror films?

Watch the Trailer. What kind of film is Shaun of the Dead?

2) Introduction

Shaun of the Dead
Shaun is a salesman whose life has no direction. He has a Mum, a stepfather (Phillip), and he shares his house with a housemate, Pete. Ed, Shaun's best friend, lives on their sofa. Shaun's girlfriend, Liz, has broken up with him so Shaun goes for a drink with Ed at the Winchester pub...







3) Before you watch
Vocabulary - Check you know the meanings of these words and expressions

• to confront
• to be mugged
• crackheads
• sketchy
• to flee
• standstill
• assailants
• be "a bit under the weather"
• to grab
• wait for something to "blow over"

4) Watch the film

The film cannot be embedded here from YouTube

• so click here to watch it on YouTube. Watch 00:21.00 - 00:37.40
• or watch this clip here for exercises A,B and C
• Ex D can be seen here

If you have the DVD watch from 00:21.00 - 00:37.40
Then do exercises A, B, C and D



A) True or False? 
Watch 00:20:55 - 00:26:45 and do the true of false exercise below

B) The News.
Look at the exercise and watch 00:26:45 - 00: 34:35 and fill in the gaps with the correct passive

 

C) Mum's phone call
Watch 00: 34:35 - 00:35:27 and listen to the phone call. Match Shaun's questions with his mum's answers

D) The Plan
What's the final plan?
Watch 00:35:27 - 00:37:13 and fill in the space with a verb

Printable worksheet here

More

Shaun of the Dead fan site http://www.shaunofthedead.com/

Passives
http://www.tolearnenglish.com/exercises/exercise-english-2/exercise-english-28628.php

http://a4esl.org/q/f/x/xz89mgu.htm

Groundhog Day

Teacher's note; the worksheet below was designed to be watched in a computer room as an individual student activity. It is quite long (the opening 30 minutes of the film) and revises present simple for habit. The advantages of doing the activity individually are that it gives the student the chance to pause and rewind difficult sections of dialogue until they have understood and completed the worksheet to their own satisfaction. However it can be done as group activity in class if it is divided into more easily digestible chunks.

The film is not on Youtube

DVD available from amazon here


1) Introduction
Festival

• What happens at the Groundhog Day festival?
• When is it?

Find out here

Film
Watch the film trailer

• What is Phil Connors' job? 
• Why is he in Punxsutawney?
• What strange thing happens to him there?

2) Reading

• Toby Young's review of Groundhog Day here
• Pages from New progress to First Certificate: Self-study student's book By Leo Jones (1997, out of print) based on Tony Young's review on Google Books here

3) Film worksheet

Groundhog Day (first 30 mins of film) for EFL

View more documents from David Mainwood

4) Discuss

• Why do you think Phil is living the same day again and again?
• What are the advantages and disadvantages of living the same day again and again?
• If you were Phil what would you do? 
• Would you want to stay repeating the same day or would you try to find a way out?
• What do you think Phil will learn from the experience?
• What do you think is the message of the film?

5) More Groundhog Day resources
The Best Resources For Groundhog Day
by Larry Ferlazzo
http://larryferlazzo.edublogs.org/2009/02/03/the-best-resources-for-groundhog-day/ 

Breakfast with Eric and Ernie

You are going to

• discuss breakfast
• look at breakfast / kitchen words
• watch a video about breakfast
• practise asking and answering questions in the present simple
• practise using auxiliaries in the present simple - Do, Don't, Does, Doesn't
• describe what you do for breakfast
  

Teacher's note. This activity is designed to practise the present simple. By substituting Did for Do / Does it can also practise the past. Students can describe the activity in the past if they know the past forms of eat, drink, listen, make, put, throw, catch, beat (eggs), squeeze, open, close, toss (pancakes), cut, take

Revise and practise the present simple here http://efllecturer.blogspot.com/2011/04/present-simple.html


Scroll down for the SlideRocket presentation version of this post

Eric Morecambe and Ernie Wise

Eric Morecambe and Ernie Wise were two famous British comedians. This clip shows how they make breakfast when they are listening to the radio.

Discuss

1) What time do you have breakfast?

2) What do you eat and drink for breakfast?
    Do you

• drink tea?
• drink coffee?
• drink orange juice?
• eat a cereal?
• eat toast?
• eat bacon and eggs?
• eat biscuits?
• eat pancakes?
• make your breakfast?

3) Look at the photo. What can you see on the table?
 

4) What is your kitchen like? Describe it.


5) Have you got these in your kitchen?

milk	knife
bowls	kettle
cups	teapot
tray	bread
plates	toaster
cupboards	lemons
eggs

6) What other things have you got in your kitchen? Make a list in 1 minute.eg kettle, cooker...

Watch the clip

1) Vocabulary check
What do these words mean?

throw, catch, slices, beat (eggs), squeeze, open, close, toss (pancakes), cut, take

2) Look at the photos. What are their names?

Eric

Ernie

3a) Look at the list of breakfast activities before you watch.
Put their names next to the activities you see them do. After you watch do the interactive exercises below the video
 

listen to the radio √ = Eric and Ernie	beat the eggs √ = Ernie
eat breakfast cereal	cut the lemons √ = Eric
drink coffee = X (They don't drink coffee)	squeeze lemons
eat biscuits	toss pancakes
throw slices of bread	put water in the tea pot
catch the bread	make the tea
put bread in the toaster	catch the toast
open the cupboards	take sausages out of the fridge

Watch

3b) How much can you remember? Choose the correct answer

Practise

Ask and answer questions
For example

• Does Eric catch the bread? Yes he does
• Does Ernie put the bread in the toaster. No he doesn't, Eric puts the bread in the toaster

Continue...

Revise and practise the present simple here http://efllecturer.blogspot.com/2011/04/present-simple.html

Write

Describe what you do for breakfast
I have breakfast at 8 o'clock. I drink...

Practice of past simple

Look at the pictures at the end of the presentation below

Tell the story in the past. Use the vocabulary from the exercises and these verbs in the past; eat, drink, listen, make, put, throw, catch, beat (eggs), squeeze, open, close, toss (pancakes), cut, take

For example;  This morning Eric and Ernie had breakfast. They ate cereal and listened to the radio…

Breakfast with Eric and Ernie from David Mainwood

Merry Christmas Mr Bean

Teacher's note;

The activities in the worksheet at the bottom of this post are based on the full episode available on DVD or on youtube http://youtu.be/L2UCRNldC3s (it cannot be embedded here).

This post contains some exercises based on the embeddable youtube clips. The answers are in the worksheet.

DVD available here

Mr Bean celebrates the traditional British Christmas: the baubles, the crackers, the nativity scene, the carols, the presents, the turkey and the mistletoe... they are all here. As no British Christmas is complete without a disaster or two that makes it the typical British Christmas!

You are going to

• discuss Christmas
• watch the Christmas Mr Bean episode and do some activities
• find Christmas words in a word search exercise
• write the story in the past tense
• find out more about the typical British Christmas and some of the Christmas things in the video.

Christmas Vocabulary – crackers,  mistletoe, Christmas tree, tinsel, carols, carol singers, Santa Claus / Father Christmas, stockings, presents, holly, turkey, stuffing, fairy lights, angel, star, cards, pudding, baubles, nativity scene, baby Jesus, manger.

Discuss

• Do you celebrate Christmas?
• What do people usually do on Christmas Eve in the UK?
• What do people usually do on Christmas Day in the UK?
• Do you know of any special Christmas food or Christmas customs in the UK?
• What decorations do we have?
• What’s a cracker?
• What’s mistletoe?
• What are carols?

Watch clip 1
Answer the questions in the interactive exercise after you watch

1. Did Mr Bean have any Christmas decorations?
2. What Christmas decorations did Mr Bean have?
3. What kind of films were on TV?
4. Did Mr Bean like the films?
5. What did the children sing?
6. Did Mr Bean like them?
7. What did he eat?
8. Did he give the children anything?

Now do  exercise 1 (the answers to questions 9 and 10 are in the next clip)

Watch clip 2

Answer the questions in the interactive exercise after you watch

1) What were his 3 Christmas presents and who were they for?


2) Who says it?
Put “B” for Bean or “G” for his girlfriend.

___”Are you alright in there?”
___“Fine, thank you”

___“Cup of tea?”
___“Oh Yes, if you’re having one”
___“Well I might”
___“Have you got the turkey on?”
___“Do you want a hand?”
___“No, no, thank you”



3) Fill in the gaps from this list of verbs                        
USE THE PAST FORMS                                                      
(You can use some verbs more than once)
Pull  Eat  Give  Do  Cry  Make  Be  Ring  Find  Leave  Want  Scream  Throw  Lose  Put  Hang  Be  See

1. Mr Bean _____  lunch
2. The turkey ______ very big
3. He ______ stuffing inside the turkey
4. He ______ his watch
5. His girlfriend ______ the doorbell
6. She ______ up the mistletoe
7. She ______ when she ___ Mr Bean
8. She ______ the coal bucket out the window
9. Mr Bean ______ his watch
10. They ______ sandwiches for lunch
11. She ______ him a present
12. She ______ a kiss
13. He ______ want to kiss her
14. He _____ her a present
15. She ______ after she ___  her present and ______ the flat
16. Mr Bean ______ the cracker
17. There ___ an explosion

Now do exercises 2 and 3

4) Do the word square

There are 19 Christmas words hidden in this box. Can you find them all?
The words go across → and down ↓
 

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5) Do the crossword

Printable version here



Worksheet and answers

Merry Christmas Mr Bean for EFL

View more documents from David Mainwood

5) Writing

• Tell the story of Mr Bean's Christmas in the past. Start Mr Bean went shopping in Harrods. He...
• Describe your typical Christmas 
• Describe a similar festival in your country (talk about the typical food, clothes, traditional activities etc)

6) Reading / Webquest
Find out about the typical British Christmas.

Click on the links to find the answers
Why do we decorate our houses at Christmas?
When is Boxing Day?
Why is it called Boxing Day?
What is Christmas Pudding? 
Why do we have Christmas trees?
Who is Father Christmas?
What are mince pies?
What is a nativity play?
What do children do at Christmas?
What are the 12 days of Christmas?

Read more about the traditional British Christmas here  http://projectbritain.com/Xmas/index.html#top

More activities here http://www.esolcourses.com/topics/christmas.html